Today I had work, then piano (my last lesson until August 4th) and survived. Blahhh I'm tired. I went to target with Krista, Becky, and Katie (who I actually get along with now) and I bought a dress, which is cute. Yawn.
I miss you! A lot right now, actually. I talked about you with Becky today cause she was talking about Karl - who left for California today, and it made me feel like you were a little closer. But I still missed you. A lot. We talked about prom, and how we hoped that we were all still together so we could go together. We're going to pick out our dresses together, even if we decide not to go.
I miss you more right before I'm about to go to sleep, because I wish you could be here holding me. Last night, when I woke up around 3am I couldn't go back to sleep so I held onto the hairband. It reminded me of your hand, and your lifeline. When you get back I'm spending a whole day just tracing every part of you with my fingertips. I never want to miss a single part of you. Even your lifelines.
I'm hoping the weekend goes fast, because it won't be the same without you. And then I hope the next week goes even faster. Even though spending time with my friends is fun, it feels pointless. I like talking to them and laughing and all that, but it's all just what I should be. It's not what I am. When I'm with you or Sam or Alex, especially when I'm with you, I'm me. I don't have to hide or pretend or change. I miss that.
Alex gets back Saturday, so maybe that will make things better. But it could make things worse, seeing her and Laith together, when all I want to do is be with you. Promise me you'll come home, still the Conor you were before you left. The Conor that believes everything I say and the Conor that isn't afraid to hold me when I'm sad. I miss you, I love you.
Love,
Lizzie
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